Big fee, but bigger red flags
This week, I have a tale from the trenches for you.
The one where I said no to a huge project that would’ve looked incredible on paper, and in my bank account, but felt completely wrong in my body.
Let me set the scene.
We’d been approached by a company whose L&D team loved us. We’d pitched before, lost out to a big-name vendor, and then - plot twist - they came back. They were ready to fire that vendor and asked us to take over the design and delivery of their senior leadership programme.
It had all the markings of a “wow this could be huge” moment: big client, global reach, juicy budget, warm referral, scope for additional work in future.
It was the kind of proposal you carve real time out for. We reworked everything, had promising meetings with their Chief People Officer, and were feeling quietly optimistic... until we were told the CEO wanted to meet us.
Here’s what we were briefed: he tends to prefer "high-status men who’ve worked with companies like NASA" (yes, really). Our job was to "prove our worth." My inner red flag detector short-circuited.
The meeting was a car crash.
He was distracted, disinterested, and determined to rattle off a list of status-driven questions:
How many companies have you worked with?
What’s the biggest team you’ve led?
Have you worked in the US?
How long have you been in business?
Halfway through, he stood up, mumbled something to the Chief People Officer, and left. We were stunned.
Worse than that - I felt like I’d been yanked backwards to the very start of my career. Full imposter syndrome. Sick to my stomach.
I jumped straight onto a call with my co-founder and said:I don’t want this job. I don’t care if they say yes - we need to say no.
And that’s what we did.
We emailed them, said it wasn’t the right fit, and walked away from a project worth over £50k.
And the reality for me is that it’s meant significantly tightening the belt financially. But the cost of saying yes would’ve been so much higher.
Because here’s the thing: if the CEO sets that kind of tone, you know what the culture is like further down. You know how their senior leaders will show up. And you know you’re going to end up bleeding energy just trying to get people to engage.
Saying no is hard. But facing the reality of the wrong yes is much harder.
We don’t talk enough about the emotional cost of taking on misaligned work.
We focus on revenue, logos, prestige, but what about:
The anxiety of dreading every meeting?
The energy drain of working with people who don’t respect you?
The way your confidence erodes when you’re treated like you’re not enough?
Saying no isn’t just brave - it’s strategic. Because the projects you say yes to shape your business. Your mindset. Your energy.
And no amount of money is worth building something that slowly eats you alive.
Here's a quick reflection for you.
Think back to the last time you said yes when you wanted to say no.
What did it cost you? And what might it have given you to walk away?
I know it’s not always financially possible to say no to work. This stuff comes with real-world consequences. But so does ignoring your gut.
Sometimes protecting your energy is the most professional move you can make.
Talk soon, Nat x
